I went to an amazing workshop over the weekend about attachment trauma and EMDR. What I took with me was a greater understanding of how much the early years impact one’s future. When I say early years, I mean as early as being in your mother’s womb. It is not just about having a caregiver who may or may not have been nurturing. It is also about the smaller aspects that you may not even think about (such as your birth order, the mindset of the mother while she was pregnant, stressors in early childhood). These stressors can be anything from moving around a lot, a divorce or a death in the family. All of these things shape who we are today.
People often amaze me with their ability to overcome obstacles that have come their way. People are very resilient and EMDR is a powerful tool in helping individuals repair whatever attachment issue they may have experienced. If you are reading this saying to yourself “What does this mean about me,” remember that genetics play a big role in this as well. You can have two siblings who grow up in the same environment but react differently to stressor around them.
There are several types of attachment but the following four are the most discussed. They consist of secure attachment, insecure avoidant, insecure ambivalent, and disorganized. Susan Hart describes them in length in her book “The Impact of Attachment.”
We all teach our children what we learn from our parents—wouldn’t it be nice to finally break the cycle?
Believe in your power to grow,
Melissa