More to the story than you may think…
So I just finished reading the trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey. Yes the fictional novel that women all around the country are obsessing over. When I first heard about the book, I was intrigued. I was hearing things such as “this book will change your life” and “you won’t be able to put it down” and even things about it increasing my libido. So naturally it piqued my curiosity. The author E L James talked about the reasons she wrote the book. She discussed that this was her way of getting out her fantasies and she never realized what a phenomenon it would become.
Anyway, yes, the book has a lot of sexually explicit detailed scenes. I would say it is like reading soft porn and I really thought that was all it was. However, throughout reading the book I began to really understand the characters. Ultimately, you have two individuals who come from very different backgrounds who fall in love with each other. Yes, another romance novel, but this a little different.
Christian Grey is a powerful young billionaire who was born into poverty by a mother who was addicted to crack. He was severely abused by different people early in his life but then at age four is adopted by a wonderful family. He is a very angry boy who does not like to be touched in any way. He is brought into the world of S&M and bondage by an older woman. He uses his dominatrix to release his anger on young women who look like his birth mother. Understandably he exhibits features of disorganized attachment.
Considering the fundamental first four years of his life, his world was unsafe, therefore viewing his current world and the people around him unsafe. He was able to become successful by learning to control his anger in these sexually controlled situations. Also, he was adopted by a loving family. Although successful in his career, he has been unsuccessful in his personal relationships. However, he would not have viewed it like this. He stayed far away from personal intimate relationships and felt in control when he had his dominate/submissive relationships.
In walks Anastasia Steele, a newly college graduate who is a virgin with relatively low self esteem and very little world experience. They become entangled in this passionate relationship where they both learn to let go. Christian learns to let go of his control and his anger. Their relationship is a testament of being able to repair attachment wounds through a sense of safety, acceptance and unconditional love. So yes, this book can be looked at as mindless soft porn, but I saw it as an interesting story of love and attachment.
Believe in your power to grow,
Melissa